


wise boy

by TransparentSheepDeer



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Internal Monologue, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransparentSheepDeer/pseuds/TransparentSheepDeer
Summary: Percy can't keep denying it anymore. And he doesn't like that.





	wise boy

It's not that Percy considers himself an unlovable person. But damn, it sure as fuck is hard for him to love himself.

But he can work on it. He hopes so, at least. He knows that he has a problem with his self-esteem, so logically, the next step is to do something about it.

The problem is that he doesn't want to.

He feels like shit. He really does. He is numb. When he isn't, then he feels worthless.

Most of the time, he can bury it deep inside of him and forget about it. It's what he always does at this point; covering up his insecurities with humor. Distracting himself 24/7 with something - a book, a videogame, eating, anything suffices as long as he can keep pretending that everything was fine.

Everything is fine.

Everything is fine.

Everything is fine.

Nothing is fine.

Annabeth. She is the one who makes his habit end. Because when he realizes he might like her - _like_ like her - everything starts falling apart, and the problems he has been running from start to resurface again.

But he tries to ignore that too. It's easier said than done. It's basically impossible to do, actually, with Annabeth and him meeting every day in camp. One smile from her, and Percy's heart leaps, his cheeks heat up the slightest bit, and he feels dizzy.

It's stupid. Percy feels stupid. But he can't deny that he likes her.

He likes her a lot. He's never had a real crush on anyone before. And the more obvious it becomes that he likes Annabeth, the more he thinks about what would happen if the two of them got together.

If they held hands, if they kissed, if they slept with each other.

The thoughts make Percy feel excited and scared at the same time. Fear outweighs his curiosity, though. By a lot. Because what if Annabeth knew that he thinks about these things? What would she say? Would she find him disgusting? Demand that he stopped? Publicly announce that there would never be anything between the two of them?

Anything could happen. At the very least, Annabeth would reject him. Percy doesn't even consider the possibility of her liking him back. That only happens in his fantasies.

No, not  _that_ kind of fantasies. He doesn't even dare consider anything explicit. He finds it a violation of her privacy. Annabeth is not an object he can play with. She is not a concept, not a fantasy, she is a person.

Percy does not know how romance is supposed to work. He is pretty sure that if he tried, he would fuck it up. But at the same time, if he didn't try, he wouldn't get better at it. But he is too anxious to take that step. Too scared that Annabeth will lash out, that they won't be friends anymore.

Currently, the only thing he can do is wonder what could happen if he had the courage to flirt with her. Or to ask her out. If they went on a date in the city.

But even this innocent thought makes him feel guilty. So for now, he has to settle on pushing every single feeling for Annabeth deep down.

Maybe if he keeps them there for long enough, they will disappear.


End file.
